Cousins are more than just family—they’re our partners in crime, childhood best friends, and the ones who make every family gathering unforgettable. If you’re looking for the funniest way to celebrate that special bond, our collection of cousin jokes is here to keep everyone laughing.
Cousin Jokes
Why did my cousin bring sunscreen to the reunion?
Because our family throws too much shade. 😎
What do you call cousins who play video games together?
Controllers of chaos. 🎮
Why did the cousin bring popcorn to the family meeting?
Because drama was guaranteed.
What did one cousin say to the other when they argued?
“Let’s not fight—we’re in the same family movie.”
Why do cousins make great detectives?
Because they already know all the family secrets. 🔍
What’s my cousin’s favorite exercise?
Family squats.
Why did the cousin take his phone to the reunion?
To prove he had better reception than Aunt Linda. 📱
What do you call a cousin who can sing really high notes?
Treble relative. 🎶
Why did my cousin always sit by the cake?
Because that’s where the sweet memories are. 🍰
What did one cousin text the other at midnight?
“Family never sleeps!”
Why did the cousin bring a calculator?
To count on his family.
What do you call cousins who open a pizza shop?
Dough-brothers. 🍕
Why did my cousin keep laughing at my jokes?
Because family has to support you—even if you’re not funny.
What’s a cousin’s favorite subject in school?
History—because it’s full of relatives.
Why did my cousin refuse to play cards?
Because he didn’t want to deal with us.
What do you call cousins who start a band?
Relative rockstars. 🎸
Why did the cousin bring a blanket to the reunion?
Because family keeps things cozy.
Why do cousins make the best photographers?
They know all the family angles. 📷
What’s my cousin’s favorite holiday?
Thanksgiving—because family and food are guaranteed. 🦃
Why did my cousin tell so many jokes?
Because laughter runs in the family.
Why did my cousin always win arguments?
Because he had relative logic.
Why was the cousin always late?
Because he stopped to chat with every relative.
What do cousins bring to a barbecue?
Relative heat. 🔥
Why did my cousin start a diary?
To keep track of all our crazy family stories.
What’s a cousin’s favorite board game?
Family Monopoly—it always causes fights. 🎲
Why did the cousin bring a mirror to the party?
To reflect on family moments.
Why did my cousin join the debate club?
Because he loved arguing about nothing—just like family dinners.
What do you call cousins who like astronomy?
Star relatives. 🌟
Why did the cousin say he was rich?
Because family is priceless. ❤️
Funny Cousin Jokes
Why did my cousin bring a ladder to the sleepover?
Because he wanted to take our jokes to another level.
My cousin asked if I could keep a secret…
I said, “Not in this family!” 😂
Why did my cousin sit near the fridge?
Because he wanted to stay cool at the reunion.
What do you call cousins who can’t stop laughing?
Giggle relatives.
My cousin told me I wasn’t funny…
So I told him he must have inherited Aunt Linda’s humor.
Why did my cousin bring sunglasses to the barbecue?
Because our family throws a lot of shade. 😎
My cousin eats so much at parties…
We call him the human vacuum cleaner.
Why did the cousin bring a pencil to the wedding?
To draw attention during the photos.
What’s my cousin’s favorite exercise?
Running late.
Why did my cousin get kicked out of the library?
He couldn’t stop laughing at his own jokes.
My cousin tried to prank me with a fake spider…
So I pranked him back with the family group chat screenshots.
Why do cousins make the best comedians?
Because they know all the family punchlines.
My cousin always says he’s smarter than me…
But then he asks Siri how to boil water.
Why did my cousin bring a blanket to the picnic?
To cover up all his bad jokes.
My cousin said he was full after one slice of pizza…
That’s when I knew he wasn’t really family. 🍕
Why don’t cousins ever keep secrets?
Because family Wi-Fi has no password.
My cousin and I started a joke contest…
The family tree still hasn’t stopped shaking.
What do you call cousins who argue over the last cookie?
A chip off the old block. 🍪
Why did my cousin bring tape to the party?
To fix all the broken jokes.
My cousin said he was “fashionably late.”
I said, “Nope, just late.”
Why do cousins always take the best selfies?
Because it runs in the family. 📸
My cousin always says he’s on a diet…
Until dessert shows up.
Why did my cousin bring a guitar to Thanksgiving?
Because he wanted to string us all along. 🎸
My cousin told me he’s allergic to drama…
But he’s always the one starting it.
Why did my cousin bring binoculars to the reunion?
To spot the potato salad before Uncle Joe.
What do you call a cousin who tells corny jokes?
A-maize-ing. 🌽
Why did my cousin always get in trouble at school?
Because he thought “family tree” was an excuse for climbing walls.
My cousin says he’s humble…
But he brags about being the favorite grandchild every five minutes.
Why do cousins love family reunions?
Because it’s the perfect place for free food and inside jokes.
My cousin told me I wasn’t funny…
So I said, “Good, then you won’t steal my jokes!”
Alabama Cousin Jokes
Why don’t Alabama cousins ever get lonely?
Because family reunions double as block parties.
What do you call an Alabama cousin who’s also your best friend?
Your partner-in-grits. 🍳
Why did the Alabama cousins start a band?
Because they already had perfect family harmony. 🎶
What’s an Alabama cousin’s favorite sport?
Cornhole championships at the cookout.
Why did the Alabama cousin bring a fishing pole to the reunion?
Because he heard the family pond was full of stories. 🎣
What do you call two Alabama cousins running a farm together?
Crop relatives.
Why did the Alabama cousin sit in a rocking chair all day?
Because family traditions never get old.
What’s an Alabama cousin’s favorite dessert?
Pecan pie with a side of gossip. 🥧
Why did the Alabama cousin bring sweet tea to the picnic?
Because that’s the family fuel.
What do Alabama cousins say when they meet after years?
“Feels like yesterday, but with more biscuits.”
Why do Alabama cousins love barbecues?
Because it’s the perfect excuse to argue over sauce recipes. 🍖
What do you call cousins racing tractors in Alabama?
Relative speed demons. 🚜
Why did the Alabama cousin bring a banjo to Thanksgiving?
Because family gatherings need background music.
Why did my Alabama cousin plant extra corn?
Because he knew the whole family would show up hungry. 🌽
What do you call cousins who hunt together in Alabama?
Deer friends. 🦌
Why did the Alabama cousin bring a toolbox to the reunion?
Because someone always breaks a chair.
What’s an Alabama cousin’s favorite pickup line?
“Wanna share some fried chicken?” 🍗
Why did the Alabama cousin carry biscuits in his pocket?
Because you never know when family’s hungry.
What do Alabama cousins do on rainy days?
Play Monopoly until it ruins the family. 🎲
Why did the Alabama cousin sit by the fire pit?
To roast marshmallows and Uncle Joe’s stories. 🔥
What’s an Alabama cousin’s favorite TV show?
Anything with football in it. 🏈
Why did the Alabama cousin bring a guitar?
Because no one else remembered the family anthem.
What do you call cousins who go mudding together?
Dirty relatives. 🚙💨
Why did the Alabama cousin take so many selfies?
Because he wanted to prove the family tree was real. 🌳
Why did my Alabama cousin always win races?
Because he practiced chasing chickens. 🐓
What’s an Alabama cousin’s favorite phrase at reunions?
“Pass the gravy, please.”
Why did the Alabama cousin bring a cooler to church?
To keep the sweet tea chilled for later.
Why do Alabama cousins love camping?
Because sitting around the fire feels like home.
What’s an Alabama cousin’s favorite subject in school?
History—because it’s full of relatives.
Why did the Alabama cousin laugh so hard?
Because family jokes hit harder than moonshine. 🥃😂
Cousin Jokes Quotes
“Cousins: proof that family reunions can double as comedy shows.”
“Having cousins means you’ll never run out of partners in crime—or embarrassing stories.”
“Cousins are like siblings you can’t blame your parents for.”
“The family tree would be boring without cousins shaking the branches.” 🌳😂
“Cousins are like Wi-Fi—sometimes annoying, but always keeping you connected.”
“Every family has that one funny cousin… and if you don’t, it’s probably you.”
“Cousins: where inside jokes are passed down like heirlooms.”
“Cousins make reunions fun and Christmas dinners louder.”
“Life’s better with cousins—especially the ones who bring snacks.”
“Cousins: turning family gatherings into group therapy since forever.”
“Behind every crazy cousin is another cousin laughing harder.”
“Cousins are like fries—best when shared, always salty.” 🍟
“Cousins prove that family drama can also be hilarious.”
“Every cousin is born with one mission: to remind you of your most embarrassing moments.”
“A cousin’s favorite hobby? Roasting you at family gatherings.” 🔥
“Cousins are proof that laughter really is in the DNA.”
“Friends are chosen, siblings are given, but cousins are the sweet mix of both.”
“Cousins are family’s built-in laugh tracks.”
“The best part of having cousins? Free comedy, no subscription needed.”
“Cousins know your past, laugh at your present, and will blackmail you in the future.”
“Cousins are like chips—you can’t just have one around.”
“Every cousin battle ends the same way: laughing until grandma yells.”
“Cousins: the only people who make your inside jokes sound like family legends.”
“Happiness is having cousins who think they’re funnier than you.”
“Cousins are just siblings with less responsibility and more jokes.”
“Cousins don’t need icebreakers—they are the icebreakers.” ❄️😂
“Family reunions without cousins? Just awkward potlucks.”
“Cousins: turning every small problem into a hilarious story for years.”
“The funniest moments in life are usually cousin-approved.”
“Cousins may fight, tease, and annoy—but the laughs never stop.”
Cousin Jokes One Liners
Cousins: the free entertainment package every family comes with.
My cousin and I could turn silence into laughter in seconds.
Cousins don’t keep secrets… they turn them into stories.
Every cousin fight is just a warm-up for family dinner.
Cousins: professional snack thieves since birth. 🍟
My cousin’s jokes are bad… but his timing is worse.
Cousins are like Wi-Fi—annoying but you need them.
Family drama always sounds better when cousins narrate it.
Cousins are proof that chaos is hereditary.
My cousin said I’m not funny—he’s wrong twice.
Cousins don’t play fair… they play funny.
Behind every cousin roast is another cousin laughing louder.
Cousins: because one sibling wasn’t enough trouble.
My cousin and I should get paid for our comedy act.
Cousins know your secrets… and use them as punchlines.
Cousins turn “remember when” into a comedy special.
My cousin eats like it’s his last meal every meal.
Cousins: family by blood, comedians by choice.
My cousin can’t keep a straight face—even during church.
Cousins prove the gene pool is full of mischief.
Cousins make the best partners… in crime and in jokes.
Every cousin reunion ends with laughter and leftover pie.
Cousins: the only friends you don’t get to choose.
My cousin’s favorite sport? Starting food fights at reunions.
Cousins don’t need scripts—the jokes write themselves.
Cousins: where pranks and punchlines never end.
My cousin’s idea of cardio is running from chores.
Cousins: proof that family trees produce comedians. 🌳😂
Every cousin roast is 50% truth, 50% laughter.
Cousins are like bad jokes—you can’t get rid of them, but you’d never want to.
