Looking for the best golf jokes one liners to bring laughter to the course? ⛳ Whether you’re a seasoned golfer or just someone who enjoys a good laugh, these short and witty golf jokes are guaranteed to be a hole-in-one. From clever puns to quick one-liners, this collection is perfect for sharing with friends.
Golf Jokes One Liners
Golf is the only sport where the ball lies, and the player swears.
My golf game is so bad, I had to take up fishing just to feel successful.
Golf: the art of turning perfectly good walks into sand and water tours.
My wife told me to take out the trash—I grabbed my golf bag and left.
The secret to golf? Hit the ball, find it, and hit it again… until you cry.
Golf is 90% mental… and the other 10% is mental too.
Golfers don’t need therapy—we just need mulligans.
Golf: where “fore!” is both a warning and an apology.
My swing is like my WiFi—unstable and full of dead spots.
Golf carts: proof that golfers don’t walk unless they’re lost.
My handicap? The game itself.
Golf is the perfect game for people who enjoy being humbled.
I don’t always hit water, but when I do—it’s with a brand-new ball.
My golf ball spends more time in the woods than on the fairway.
Golfers don’t age—we just get a better handicap.
My favorite club? The 19th hole. 🍺
Golf: where one good shot keeps you addicted for life.
If golf was easy, it’d be called “putt-putt.”
Golf is the only sport where swearing is considered part of the technique.
My slice is so bad it should come with a pizza.
Golf is proof that patience really is a virtue.
My driver is allergic to straight lines.
Golf balls are like socks—they disappear without explanation.
Golf: where “par” is just a dream and “bogey” is reality.
I don’t yell “fore!” anymore—I just say “good luck.”
My golf swing is like a snowflake—no two are ever the same.
Golf isn’t a matter of life and death—it’s much harder.
Short Golf Jokes One Liners
I’m great at golf… if you count losing balls as talent.
My putter and I are in a complicated relationship.
Golf is cheaper than therapy—barely.
My swing has more curves than the fairway.
Golfers don’t sweat—we just glisten in frustration.
My golf game is proof that miracles don’t happen every day.
I went to play golf and found my patience missing.
Golf is the sport of chasing little white lies.
The only hole-in-one I’ve had is in my wallet.
Golf is all about focus… and forgetting the last ten bad shots.
My driver is great—if I’m aiming for the trees.
Golf is a game where silence is golden… except for the swearing.
My caddy deserves hazard pay.
Golf balls and I have a love-hate relationship.
Golf is like math: lots of problems and not enough solutions.
I don’t play golf—I play “search and rescue.”
Golf is 90% mental, and I’m mentally checked out.
I only hit water when it’s a lake.
Golfers live by one rule: never waste a good excuse.
My slice is so bad it could be served at a deli.
Golf teaches humility faster than school.
My golf shoes have more mileage than my car.
Golf is the perfect balance of hope and heartbreak.
I practice golf daily—mostly in my imagination.
Golfers don’t retire—we just take longer to finish the course.
My favorite golf accessory? A sense of humor.
Golf is the only game where less is more… except in balls lost.
I play golf for exercise—running after my shots.
Golf is the slowest way to realize you’re not good at sports.
My putt is straight… just never towards the hole.
Funny Dog Golf Jokes One Liners
My dog loves golf—he thinks every ball is a fetch mission.
A dog on the golf course? That’s a real ruff hazard.
My swing is so bad, even my dog buries the ball.
The dog’s favorite golf club? The lab-rador.
My dog doesn’t chase squirrels on the course—just my bad drives.
If golf balls were bones, my dog would be a pro.
Dogs don’t yell “fore!”—they bark it.
My dog’s handicap? Digging up the greens.
A dog on the fairway makes every round a paw-sitive experience.
My dog is the only one happy with my slices—more balls to chase.
Golf carts aren’t for players—they’re for dogs with floppy ears.
My caddy quit… but my dog applied for the job.
Dogs make the best golf partners—they never judge a bad shot.
My retriever is literally the best ball retriever.
A barking dog is still quieter than my golf swing.
My dog’s favorite hole? The one full of snacks.
Forget bunkers—my dog digs his own.
Dogs don’t play golf… they just play “paw-in-one.”
A golfer’s best friend? Still his dog, not his driver.
My dog fetches lost balls faster than my buddies can find theirs.
My slice is so bad, even the dog refuses to chase it.
Dogs don’t cheat at golf—they just drool on the scorecard.
My dog thinks the water hazard is his personal swimming pool.
If dogs played golf, they’d all aim for the fire hydrant.
The dog’s favorite part of golf? The hot dogs at the clubhouse.
My dog always wins—he has the best paw-sition.
Dogs can’t play golf, but they sure know how to bark about it.
My dog hides my clubs so I’ll walk him instead.
A good golf partner listens… a dog just wags.
If patience is a virtue, my dog is a saint for watching me golf.
Hilarious Golf Jokes One Liners
Golf: the only game where yelling “fore!” is considered polite.
My slice is so bad, it’s starting to look like modern art.
Golf is just overpriced hiking with obstacles.
The only hole-in-one I’ve made is in my wallet.22
Golfers don’t need comedians—we crack ourselves up every swing.
My swing is proof gravity always wins.
Golf: where the ball lies, and the player swears.
I don’t need anger management—I need better golf clubs.
Golf is 90% mental, and I’m mentally out of bounds.
My putt is straight… until the last six inches.
Golf: the best way to ruin a good walk.
My golf game is under control… completely out of control.
I don’t yell “fore!” anymore—I just say “duck!”
The sand trap isn’t a hazard—it’s my second home.
Golfers don’t age, we just add strokes.
Golf is cheaper than therapy—unless you count lost balls.
My handicap? Just the entire sport.
Golf carts were invented to keep golfers from quitting mid-round.
I’m on a seafood diet in golf—I see the water and feed it balls.
Golf is proof patience has a breaking point.
My driver hits long… just never straight.
Golfers don’t lie—we just exaggerate our birdies.
The only birdies I see are actual birds.
Golf is a game of inches—mainly the 12 between my ears.
My scorecard looks more like a phone number.
Golf: where one good shot convinces you you’re a pro.
I don’t need a GPS—I just follow where my lost balls roll.
My slice is so predictable, it should be on the weather forecast.
Golf isn’t a matter of life and death—it’s way more frustrating.
My favorite club? The 19th hole. 🍺
Father’s Day Golf Jokes One Liners
Dad’s golf swing is like WiFi—weak and always dropping.
The only driver Dad can handle well is the one in the car.
Dad says golf is relaxing—his clubs disagree.
Father’s Day gift idea: golf balls… he’ll lose them by lunch.
Dad’s golf score is like his age—just keeps going up.
My dad’s golf bag is full of excuses, not clubs.
Dad calls it golf—I call it “search and rescue.”
The only time Dad breaks par is when he breaks his pencil.
Father’s Day tradition: Dad teaching patience… by missing putts.
My dad’s handicap? Just being Dad.
The fairway and my dad have one thing in common—rarely seen together.
Dad loves golf—it’s the only place Mom lets him talk to trees.
My father swings like he tells jokes—slow and a little rough.
Dad always hits the water—must be his fishing instincts.
Golf and Dad have something in common—they both take forever.
On Father’s Day, Dad deserves a hole-in-one… in cake. 🎂
Dad’s golf game is like Father’s Day BBQ—burnt, but fun.
My father’s slice is so bad, it deserves its own holiday.
Dad plays golf like Monopoly—lots of penalties and arguments.
My father is proof that golf balls are recyclable.
Golf is Dad’s way of proving patience is optional.
Dad doesn’t need a golf coach—he needs a miracle worker.
Father’s Day wish: may Dad’s putts finally go in.
My dad’s favorite hole is the 19th—cheers, Pops! 🍺
Dad and golf balls both go missing in the woods.
The only eagle my father’s seen was flying overhead.
Father’s Day rule: let Dad win… at least in golf stories.
Dad says golf is exercise—I say it’s a nap in the cart.
My dad’s favorite club? The TV remote after golf.
Father’s Day golf tip: Don’t argue with Dad—he’s always right… even when he’s two over par.
