If you’re searching for the ultimate football joke to score laughs on and off the field, you’ve come to the right place! 🏈 From pun-filled one-liners to hilarious locker-room humor, football jokes are the perfect way to kick off conversations, lighten the mood, and bring fans together. Whether you’re tailgating with friends, watching the big game,
Football Jokes
Why did the football team go to the bank?
To get their quarterback.
Why don’t football players get hot in their uniforms?
Because they have so many fans.
What’s a football player’s favorite type of tea?
Penal-tea.
Why did the football coach go to the library?
To check out his playbook.
Why was the football field always so cool?
Because it was full of fans.
What do you call a football player who can sing?
A tackle-idol.
Why did the football bring string to the game?
So it could tie the score.
Why was the football team always in trouble?
Because they kept getting caught holding.
What do you get when you cross a football player and a computer?
A data receiver.
Why was Cinderella so bad at football?
Because she always ran away from the ball.
Why did the football coach go to art class?
To learn how to draw plays.
Why did the football player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?
He was learning how to draw fowls.
What’s a football player’s favorite candy?
Snickers—because of the bars.
Why don’t football players ever get sunburned?
Because they wear too much defense.
Why was the football team so good at math?
They knew how to tackle problems.
What do football players wear on Halloween?
Face masks.
Why did the football quit the team?
Because it was tired of being kicked around.
Why are football stadiums always so loud?
Because every seat is filled with a cheer.
Why did the football team bring ladders?
To reach new heights.
What do you call a lineman’s lunch?
A big sack.
Why was the football player a great musician?
He had perfect pitch.
Why did the scarecrow make the football team?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why don’t football players like to eat at banquets?
Because they’re afraid of getting a penalty for holding.
Why was the football coach so good at cooking?
He always followed the game plan.
What’s a ghost’s favorite football position?
Ghoul-back.
Why did the football referee bring a pencil to the game?
To draw the line.
Why was the tiny football player always picked first?
Because he was a little kicker.
What’s a football team’s favorite kind of music?
Anything with a good beat.
Why did the football player bring a flashlight?
To shine during night games.
Alabama Football Joke
Why did the Alabama fan cross the road?
To roll with the Tide on the other side.
What do you call an Alabama fan at a chess game?
Lost—because there are too many moves.
Why don’t Alabama football players ever get locked out?
Because they always carry their keys to victory.
What’s Alabama’s favorite type of fish?
Tuna Roll Tide.
Why was the Alabama football player so good at math?
Because he knew how to count touchdowns.
Why did the Alabama player bring a ladder to the game?
To reach the top of the rankings.
What’s an Alabama quarterback’s favorite dessert?
Turnovers.
Why don’t Alabama football players play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding from Nick Saban.
What do you call an Alabama fan at a comedy show?
A laugh-a-bama.
Why did the Alabama football bring string?
To tie up another win.
What’s an Alabama kicker’s favorite subject?
Kick-onomics.
Why was the Alabama lineman always calm?
Because he never cracked under pressure.
What’s Alabama’s favorite kind of music?
Rock and Roll Tide.
Why did the Alabama team go to the bakery?
To pick up another sweet victory.
What do you call a polite Alabama football player?
A Southern gentleman on the field.
Why did the Alabama wide receiver bring a pencil?
To draw up a touchdown route.
Why was the Alabama mascot so good at school?
Because he had tons of ele-phantastic memory.
What’s Alabama’s favorite board game?
Roll-opoly.
Why did the Alabama football coach get a smartphone?
So he could keep up with all the calls.
Why don’t Alabama football players get bored?
Because every game is a thrill tide.
What’s Alabama’s favorite holiday?
Touchdown-giving.
Why did the Alabama player open a bakery?
Because he knew how to roll.
What’s Alabama’s favorite breakfast food?
Grid-iron waffles.
Why did the Alabama football player sit near the window?
To catch some passes.
What’s the Alabama defense’s favorite snack?
Sacks and cheese.
Why did the Alabama football fan take a nap?
Because cheering so hard is exhausting.
Why was the Alabama quarterback so good at fishing?
He always knew how to cast perfectly.
What do you call a group of Alabama fans singing together?
A Roll Tide choir.
Why did the Alabama football bring an umbrella?
Because it expected a shower of touchdowns.
What’s Alabama’s favorite superhero?
Captain Roll Tide.
Fantasy Football Jokes
Why did the fantasy football player bring a broom to the draft?
To sweep the league.
Why don’t fantasy football managers ever get lonely?
Because they’re always in a league of their own.
What’s a fantasy football manager’s favorite snack?
Draft beer and chips.
Why did the fantasy football team go to school?
To work on their draft picks.
What do fantasy football players do when they win?
They brag until next season.
Why was the fantasy football league like a circus?
Because it was full of tight ends and clowns.
What’s a fantasy football player’s favorite type of music?
Heavy drafts.
Why don’t fantasy football managers ever get stressed?
Because they bench their problems.
What did the fantasy football player say to his broken laptop?
“You just ruined my draft!”
Why did the fantasy football player bring a map?
To find his way out of the draft.
Why was the fantasy football player always broke?
Because he kept paying the price for bad picks.
What’s a fantasy football player’s favorite subject?
Statistics—because numbers win leagues.
Why did the fantasy football manager sit by the window?
To catch some wide receivers.
Why was the fantasy football team always calm?
Because they knew how to tackle stress.
What’s the scariest thing about fantasy football?
Injuries right after draft day.
Why did the fantasy football manager bring glue?
To stick with his draft strategy.
What do you call a fantasy football manager with no wins?
A bench warmer.
Why did the fantasy football manager bring a pencil?
To make last-minute draft corrections.
What’s a fantasy football league’s favorite drink?
Gator-raid.
Why did the fantasy football manager go broke?
He invested too much in running backs.
What’s the most magical part of fantasy football?
Turning bench players into legends.
Why was the fantasy football manager always tired?
Too many late-night waiver wire moves.
What do you call a fantasy football champion?
The commissioner’s nightmare.
Why did the fantasy football manager cross the road?
To check his lineup on better Wi-Fi.
Why was the fantasy football draft like Christmas?
Everyone wanted the best gifts early.
What’s a fantasy football team’s favorite movie?
Draft Day.
Why was the fantasy football league like a soap opera?
Because it was full of drama and weekly heartbreaks.
What’s a fantasy football player’s favorite sport besides football?
Guessing injuries.
Why did the fantasy football player never get invited to parties?
Because he was always talking about his lineup.
What’s the secret to winning fantasy football?
Pure luck—don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Notre Dame Football Jokes
Why did the Notre Dame football team bring a ladder?
To reach the top of the rankings.
Why don’t Notre Dame fans get lost?
Because they always follow the Fighting Irish.
What’s Notre Dame’s favorite type of potato?
Mash-ups of great plays.
Why was the Notre Dame mascot so good at school?
Because he had a lot of spirit.
Why did the Notre Dame football player bring a pencil?
To draw up touchdowns.
What’s Notre Dame’s favorite holiday?
St. Touchdown’s Day.
Why did the Notre Dame coach go to the bakery?
To pick up another roll.
Why was the Notre Dame quarterback so calm?
Because he always kept his cool under pressure.
What do you call a Notre Dame player with good manners?
A Fighting Polite Irishman.
Why did the Notre Dame football fan take a nap?
Because cheering so hard wore him out.
Why was the Notre Dame defense so good?
Because they knew how to tackle any problem.
What’s Notre Dame’s favorite kind of drink?
Irish cream soda.
Why did the Notre Dame football player sit by the window?
To catch some passes.
Why do Notre Dame players never get cold?
Because they’re always warmed by the crowd.
What did the football say to the Notre Dame kicker?
“You give me a real boot.”
Why did the Notre Dame coach go to art class?
To learn how to draw better plays.
What’s a Notre Dame fan’s favorite song?
“When Irish Eyes Are Scoring.”
Why did the Notre Dame player bring an umbrella?
In case of a shower of touchdowns.
Why was the Notre Dame mascot so good at jokes?
Because he always had a punch-line.
Why don’t Notre Dame players get lonely?
Because they’re always in good company on the field.
What’s Notre Dame’s favorite dessert?
Lucky turnovers.
Why was the Notre Dame football team always happy?
Because every game felt like Irish luck.
Why did the Notre Dame player go to the grocery store?
To pick up some extra points.
Why was the Notre Dame football field so noisy?
Because of all the cheering Leprechauns.
What’s Notre Dame’s favorite cereal?
Lucky Charms—and touchdowns.
Why did the Notre Dame player love math?
Because he could always count on six.
Why was the Notre Dame kicker great at music?
Because he had perfect pitch.
Why did the Notre Dame coach carry a flashlight?
To shine in the spotlight.
What’s a Notre Dame fan’s favorite kind of comedy?
Punt-filled humor.
Why did the Notre Dame football player smile at the scoreboard?
Because it was looking up for him.
American Football Jokes
Why did the American football team bring a ruler to the game?
To measure up to the competition.
Why don’t American football players ever get hot?
Because they’re always surrounded by fans.
What do you call an American football player who can sing?
A wide crooner.
Why was the football stadium so windy?
Because of all the fans blowing cheers.
Why did the American football player bring a pencil?
To draw up some plays.
Why did the quarterback sit on the sidelines?
Because he needed a little timeout.
What’s an American football player’s favorite dessert?
Brownies with extra tackles.
Why was the football coach so calm?
Because he had plenty of composure to kick around.
What’s an American football team’s favorite type of math?
Division.
Why did the football player take a ladder to practice?
To work on his high jumps.
Why don’t American football players ever get lost?
Because they always follow the end zone.
What’s an American football player’s favorite fish?
A tackle-trout.
Why did the football player bring string to the game?
To tie up the score.
What’s an American football player’s favorite kind of tea?
Penal-tea.
Why did the football go to therapy?
Because it kept getting kicked around.
Why was the linebacker so good at music?
Because he had perfect pitch.
What do you call a football game with no rules?
A free-for-fall.
Why don’t football players play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding with all those helmets.
Why was the football field always cold?
Because of the draft.
Why did the referee bring a pencil and paper?
To draw the line.
What do you call a running back who tells jokes?
A pun-ning back.
Why did the football player take art class?
To learn how to draw defenders.
Why was the football always happy?
Because it was full of air.
Why did the kicker bring an extra shoe?
In case he made a boot mistake.
What’s a ghost’s favorite American football position?
Ghoul-back.
Why was the quarterback great at fishing?
Because he had a perfect cast.
Why did the football player bring a flashlight?
For night games, of course.
Why did the football player sit next to the computer?
To keep an eye on his stats.
What’s a football team’s favorite breakfast?
Pigskin pancakes.
Why did the American football player become a gardener?
Because he loved tackling weeds.
