Start your day with a laugh instead of just butter and jam! Our collection of toast jokes brings you the funniest bread puns, breakfast humor, and witty one-liners that will have you smiling at the breakfast table.
Toast Jokes
What did one slice of toast say to the other?
“You’re my butter half.”
Why don’t pieces of toast ever fight?
Because they don’t want to get burnt.
Why did the toast go to school?
To get a little butter education.
What’s toast’s favorite type of music?
Jam sessions!
Why did the slice of bread feel hot?
Because it got toasted.
How do toasts say hello?
They give each other a warm greeting.
Why was the toast always positive?
Because it lived on the bright side.
What did the toast say at the wedding?
“Here’s to a crunchy relationship!”
Why did the toast blush?
Because it saw the jam getting dressed.
What’s toast’s favorite sport?
Butter-fly swimming.
Why did the toast join the debate team?
Because it had a lot of points to butter up.
How does toast keep its friends?
By sticking together with jam.
Why did the toast become an actor?
Because it always came out golden on stage.
What do you call a toast that tells jokes?
A pun-derful slice.
Why did the toast run for office?
To make life a little butter.
How do you compliment toast?
“You’re looking toasty today!”
Why don’t slices of toast ever get lost?
They always follow the crumbs.
What’s toast’s favorite holiday?
Butter-day!
Why did the toaster love parties?
Because it always popped up at the right time.
How does toast flirt?
“Are you jam? Because you complete me.”
Why did the slice of bread cross the road?
To get toasted on the other side.
What did the toast say during the speech?
“Let’s raise a slice to that!”
Why did the toast get promoted?
Because it always rose to the occasion.
What kind of jokes does toast love?
The ones that are well-buttered.
How does toast celebrate birthdays?
With jam-packed parties.
What did the butter say to the toast?
“You’re on a roll!”
Why did the toast join the gym?
To get extra crisp.
What did the toast say when it met avocado?
“You’ve guac to be kidding me!”
French Toast Jokes
Why did the bread take French lessons?
To become French toast.
What did the French toast say to the butter?
“Spread the love, s’il vous plaît.”
Why did the French toast blush?
Because it saw the syrup pouring down.
How do you compliment French toast?
“You’re magnifique!”
Why did the French toast go to Paris?
To get a little more culture.
What’s French toast’s favorite movie?
Bread and Prejudice.
Why did the French toast bring a beret?
To look more continental.
How do you make French toast laugh?
Tell it an egg-citing joke.
What’s French toast’s favorite dance?
The jam-bon.
Why did the chef fall in love with French toast?
Because it was egg-stra special.
How do French toasts greet each other?
“Bonjour, buttercup!”
Why did the French toast start a band?
It loved jam sessions.
What’s French toast’s favorite pickup line?
“Are you syrup? Because you make me stick around.”
Why did the bread get jealous?
Because French toast was the toast of the town.
How do you know French toast is happy?
It’s golden on both sides.
What’s French toast’s favorite subject?
French, of course!
Why did the pancake invite French toast to the party?
Because it was a flipping good friend.
What did the French toast say after a compliment?
“Merci, you’re too sweet.”
Why did the French toast skip the gym?
It didn’t want to get scrambled.
What’s French toast’s favorite accessory?
A little powdered sugar sparkle.
Why did the French toast get in trouble at school?
It was too egg-cited.
How do you cheer up French toast?
Pour on the syrup and give it a smile.
Why did French toast refuse to fight?
It didn’t want to get burned.
What’s French toast’s favorite holiday?
Bastille Day… with maple syrup.
Why did the chef serve French toast at weddings?
Because it’s the perfect pairing.
How does French toast stay fit?
Lots of jam squats.
What’s French toast’s life motto?
“Live golden, stay sweet.”
Why did the French toast carry an umbrella?
In case of a syrup storm.
What’s French toast’s favorite kind of humor?
Egg-cellent wordplay.
Why did the French toast feel proud?
Because everyone buttered it up.
Marriage Toast Jokes
Marriage is like a deck of cards — all you need at the start is two hearts and a diamond, but by the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times… with the same person… and sometimes with their cooking.
Marriage is when dating goes pro.
They say marriage is about compromise — she wanted a dog, he wanted a cat… so now they have three cats.
Love is blind… but marriage is a real eye-opener.
A wedding ring is the world’s smallest pair of handcuffs… with lifetime free meals.
Happy marriage is about sharing everything… especially the TV remote battles.
Love makes the world go round, but marriage is what makes it stop spinning so fast.
Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy — and love it.
A wedding toast: May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old-fashioned enough to last forever.
Marriage is when you promise to care for each other — even when one of you eats the last slice of pizza.
In marriage, “yes dear” is the key to eternal happiness.
A great marriage is like a casserole — only those making it really know what goes into it.
Marriage is just like Wi-Fi — sometimes you’re well-connected, sometimes the signal drops.
The best marriages are built on teamwork… especially when it comes to blaming the other person.
Marriage is when you trade in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.
May your love be like good wine — stronger with age, and always paired well with cheese.
A marriage toast: May you have more laughter than arguments, more hugs than eye-rolls, and more dessert than salad.
Marriage is when your spouse finishes your sentences… and your fries.
True love is sharing your Netflix password without hesitation.
Marriage is proof that opposites attract… and then argue about directions.
May your love be like a great Wi-Fi signal — strong, unbreakable, and never running out.
Marriage is when “for better or worse” becomes “for richer or takeout.”
A marriage toast: May your arguments be short, your laughter long, and your in-laws always live far away.
The key to a happy marriage? Two words: “Yes, honey.”
Marriage is like fine wine — it gets better with age, and sometimes gives you a headache.
A marriage toast: May your love story be full of joy, laughter, and just the right amount of mischief.
Avocado Toast Jokes
Why did the avocado toast break up with bacon?
Because it didn’t want a greasy relationship.
What did the avocado toast say to the egg?
“You crack me up!”
Why don’t millennials fight over toast?
Because they’re too busy smashing avocados.
What’s avocado toast’s favorite pickup line?
“You’ve guac to be mine.”
Why did the bread love avocado?
Because it was spread head over heels.
How does avocado toast flirt?
With extra cheese on top.
Why did the avocado toast go to the party?
Because it wanted to spread the love.
What’s avocado toast’s life motto?
“Stay fresh and never be basic.”
Why did the avocado toast get promoted?
Because it always rose to the occasion.
What did the avocado say to the toast?
“You make me feel whole wheat.”
Why did the avocado toast take a selfie?
Because it was picture purée-fect.
What’s avocado toast’s favorite accessory?
A drizzle of olive oil.
Why did the avocado toast fail at comedy?
Because its jokes were too dry.
What do you call an avocado toast with attitude?
Sassy on rye.
Why did avocado toast join a gym?
To get extra crunchy.
How does avocado toast throw a party?
Jam-packed with toppings.
Why was the avocado toast so calm?
Because it was well-seasoned.
What’s avocado toast’s favorite movie?
“Spread Wars: Return of the Jam.”
Why don’t avocados argue?
Because they don’t want to get mashed up.
What did the toast say after a compliment?
“Aw, shucks, I’m just buttered up.”
Why did avocado toast get along with coffee?
Because they were both morning people.
How does avocado toast apologize?
“I’m sorry if I came off a little salty.”
Why did the avocado toast become an influencer?
Because it was so well-styled.
What did the avocado toast order at the café?
A latte with a side of extra likes.
Why did the bread love avocados?
Because they were always a smashing pair.
What’s avocado toast’s favorite song?
“Guac You Like a Hurricane.”
Why was avocado toast jealous of pancakes?
Because they always got stacked attention.
What do you call an avocado toast with a sense of humor?
A pun-ocado.
Why did avocado toast skip the party?
It didn’t want to get toasted.
How do you cheer up avocado toast?
Add a sunny-side-up smile on top.
Best Man Toast Jokes
Being the best man is an honor… and also a reminder that I didn’t make the cut for “groom.”
Marriage is like a phone contract: you get unlimited texts, but the data costs more than you expect.
They say a good husband makes a good wife. So, ladies, keep your standards low and you’ll always be happy.
The groom asked me not to make any embarrassing jokes tonight. Don’t worry, I saved those for later… when he’s dancing.
Marriage is all about give and take — the groom gives, the bride takes.
Love is blind… but marriage is what really opens your eyes.
A wedding is like a walk in the park — Jurassic Park.
They say marriage is about compromise. That’s code for “she’s always right.”
I asked the groom how he knew she was “the one.” He said, “She said yes.”
Marriage is like Wi-Fi: sometimes it’s strong, sometimes it drops… but it’s always better when you share the password.
Behind every happy groom is a bride… telling him exactly where to stand.
A wedding ring is like a tourniquet — it cuts off your circulation, but keeps you alive.
The groom’s last words as a free man were: “Yes, dear.”
Marriage is teamwork — he snores, she ignores.
True love is about finding someone who’ll share fries… or at least pretend to.
They say marriage is when two become one — but let’s be real, it’s usually her one.
The groom once told me he’d do anything for his bride. Judging by his dance moves, he already has.
A husband’s job is to fix things… unless it’s the Wi-Fi. Then you call tech support.
A toast to the groom: may your love be like good wine — better with age, and sometimes needing a cork.
Marriage teaches you two things: patience… and the ability to find things in the fridge.
Weddings are magical — they turn “me” into “we” and “mine” into “ours.”
They say marriage is a journey. Don’t worry, it comes with free baggage.
The bride looks stunning tonight. The groom… well, he showed up, so that’s something.
I asked the groom if he was nervous today. He said, “Not at all.” His knees disagreed.
Marriage is just like a casserole — only those making it really know what goes into it.
A toast to the bride and groom: may your ups and downs only be in the bedroom.
Marriage is an adventure — like skydiving, but without a parachute.
The secret to a happy marriage? Keep the fridge full and the arguments short.
The groom has finally found someone who laughs at his jokes… or at least pretends to.
Here’s to love, laughter, and the perfect Instagram hashtag.
