If you’ve got a taste for dark humor, then this collection of cannibal jokes is just what you need to sink your teeth into! From clever one-liners to laugh-out-loud puns, these jokes put a hilarious twist on spooky, silly, and slightly edgy comedy.
Cannibal Jokes
Why don’t cannibals like fast food?
Because it runs too much.
What do polite cannibals say before dinner?
“Bon appétit!”
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn’t taste the same anymore.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of comedy?
Stand-up.
Why don’t cannibals like clowns?
They taste funny.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite snack at the movies?
Finger food.
Why did the cannibal go on a diet?
Too many calories in fast food.
What do cannibals bring to a potluck?
Whatever’s left over.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite fruit?
Finger bananas.
Why do cannibals love baseball?
Because they can always catch a batter.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite instrument?
The organ.
Why don’t cannibals need GPS?
They always follow their gut.
What do you call a nervous cannibal?
A shake-eater.
Why did the cannibal sit next to the chef?
He wanted a fresh bite.
What do cannibals use to freshen their breath?
Men-tos.
Why was the cannibal so good at poker?
Because he always had a good hand.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite breakfast?
Leggo my Eggo!
Why don’t cannibals get into arguments?
They just chew it over.
What did the cannibal say after eating a clown?
“Tastes a little funny.”
Why did the cannibal fail at cooking?
He always bit off more than he could chew.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite dessert?
Ladyfingers.
Why did the cannibal bring a ladder?
He heard the stakes were high.
What do cannibals do when they’re full?
They just throw in the towel.
Why don’t cannibals like fast talkers?
Hard to digest.
What do cannibals say when they’re shocked?
“You’ve got to be eating me!”
Why did the cannibal refuse dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite subject in school?
Home economics.
Why don’t cannibals play hide-and-seek?
They don’t want to spoil their appetite.
What did the cannibal order at the steakhouse?
“Waiter, surprise me!”
Cannibal Jokes One-Liners
Cannibals don’t like fast food—it’s too hard to catch.
I ate a clown once… tasted funny.
Cannibals love finger food.
Ladyfingers are a true cannibal dessert.
Cannibals always follow their gut instincts.
The cannibal chef had great taste in people.
Cannibals don’t argue—they just chew it over.
Eating a vegetarian is a light snack.
Cannibals think ribs are finger-lickin’ good.
A polite cannibal always says “bone appétit.”
Cannibals never waste food—they eat every body.
Cannibals are naturals at organ music.
A nervous cannibal is a real shake-eater.
Cannibals never gamble—they can’t stomach the stakes.
Cannibals love comedians—they’re a real gut-buster.
Cannibals are terrible roommates—they eat all your friends.
Cannibals don’t diet—they just watch their waist.
Cannibals call leftovers “second helpings of friends.”
Cannibals don’t like junk food—it has no soul.
Cannibals aren’t picky—they’ll eat whoever shows up.
Cannibals love buffets—they’re all-you-can-friend meals.
Cannibals eat clocks—they love seconds.
Cannibals don’t like spicy food—it burns going down.
A cannibal with good manners never talks with his mouth full.
Cannibals always bring a hand to the party.
Cannibals hate fast talkers—they’re hard to digest.
Cannibals love leftovers—they’re pre-chewed.
Cannibals don’t like clowns—they give them indigestion.
Cannibals eat calendars—they like dates.
Cannibals always eat on time—they don’t want to be late for supper.
Funny Cannibal Jokes
Why don’t cannibals eat fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?
She didn’t taste the same anymore.
What do cannibals call comedians?
Gut-busters.
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite game?
Hide and go eat.
Why did the cannibal join the orchestra?
He had a taste for organs.
What do cannibals serve at a dinner party?
Finger foods.
Why don’t cannibals like leftovers?
Because they’re stale-mates.
What do polite cannibals say before eating?
Bone appétit!
Why was the cannibal always calm?
Because nothing could get under his skin.
How do cannibals keep fit?
They watch their waist…lines.
What did the cannibal say about the vegetarian?
“Not my type—too lean.”
Why do cannibals love calendars?
They’re full of dates to eat.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite meal of the day?
Breakfast, lunch, and some buddy’s dinner.
Why did the cannibal fail math?
He kept trying to count calories instead of people.
How do cannibals tell jokes?
With a bit of bite.
Why do cannibals love ribs?
They’re finger-lickin’ good.
What’s a cannibal’s least favorite kind of food?
Soulless snacks.
Why don’t cannibals play poker?
They can’t keep a straight face when the stakes are high.
What did the cannibal say after his first date?
“She was delicious company.”
Why do cannibals make terrible secret agents?
They always spill their guts.
Why did the cannibal get kicked out of school?
He had a taste for teachers.
How do cannibals celebrate birthdays?
With a big piece of somebody.
Why don’t cannibals ever starve?
Because they always have a friend for dinner.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of comedy?
Stand-up — it’s easy to digest.
Why did the cannibal refuse the meal?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What do cannibals eat at picnics?
Finger sandwiches.
Why was the cannibal so popular?
He had killer taste.
What did the cannibal say about fast food?
“It goes right through me.”
Why don’t cannibals eat mirrors?
They can’t stomach self-reflection.
Clean Cannibal Jokes
Why don’t cannibals eat fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What do cannibals eat at parties?
Finger foods.
Why did the cannibal eat a comedian?
Because he wanted a funny taste.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite restaurant?
All-You-Can-Friend Buffet.
Why did the cannibal bring a fork to school?
Because he wanted to have classmates for lunch.
How do cannibals say grace?
“Bone appétit!”
What do cannibals pack for a picnic?
Finger sandwiches.
Why did the cannibal eat a calendar?
Because it was full of dates.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite musical instrument?
The organ.
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What do you call a polite cannibal?
A people person.
What do cannibals do at school?
They chew over the lessons.
Why did the cannibal refuse dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do cannibals eat when they’re on a diet?
Light snacks.
Why did the cannibal go to the library?
To pick up some fresh reading material.
How do cannibals keep in touch?
They send each other hand-written notes.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite type of joke?
Anything with bite.
Why don’t cannibals waste food?
Because they eat every body.
Why did the cannibal get an award?
He was outstanding in his field—of leftovers.
What did the cannibal say at the barbecue?
“These ribs are finger-lickin’ good.”
Why don’t cannibals ever argue?
They just chew things over.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite subject in school?
Home economics.
Why do cannibals always bring a pencil?
In case they want to draw blood.
What do cannibals call a friend they haven’t seen in a while?
Lunch.
Why do cannibals love camping?
They always have a buddy system.
What do cannibals eat when they’re in a hurry?
A quick bite.
Why did the cannibal sit alone at lunch?
He wanted to eat in peace.
What’s a cannibal’s favorite day of the week?
Chews-day.
Why did the cannibal go to art class?
He wanted to learn how to draw people.
How do cannibals greet each other?
“Nice to eat you!”
Hannibal Lecter Cannibal Jokes
Why did Hannibal Lecter get good grades?
Because he really chewed over his studies.
What’s Hannibal Lecter’s favorite snack?
Finger foods.
Why doesn’t Hannibal Lecter like fast food?
He can’t catch it.
Why did Hannibal Lecter bring a spoon to the opera?
For a taste of the performance.
What’s Hannibal Lecter’s favorite meal of the day?
Breakfast with a side of somebody.
Why did Hannibal Lecter take art class?
He wanted to learn how to draw people.
What’s Hannibal Lecter’s favorite type of music?
Anything with good organs.
Why did Hannibal Lecter refuse dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What did Hannibal Lecter say to the chef?
“This meal really has some body to it.”
Why was Hannibal Lecter a great dinner guest?
He always brought something to the table.
What did Hannibal Lecter say about the buffet?
“All-you-can-friend dining—perfect!”
Why does Hannibal Lecter make a terrible comedian?
Because his jokes are always a bit tasteless.
What’s Hannibal Lecter’s favorite board game?
Guess Who?—because he always eats the competition.
Why did Hannibal Lecter love calendars?
They’re full of fresh dates.
Why was Hannibal Lecter so polite?
Because he always said “bone appétit.”
What do you call Hannibal Lecter at a picnic?
The guy who brought finger sandwiches.
Why was Hannibal Lecter bad at poker?
He always showed his hand.
What’s Hannibal Lecter’s favorite drink?
A nice Chianti… with a twist of humor.
Why did Hannibal Lecter go to cooking school?
To learn how to people-prepare meals.
What did Hannibal Lecter say to the vegetarian?
“You’re just not my type—too lean.”
Why did Hannibal Lecter like clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Why did Hannibal Lecter buy a mirror?
For some self-reflection.
What’s Hannibal Lecter’s favorite subject in school?
Home economics—extra credit for presentation.
Why did Hannibal Lecter sit at the back of class?
So he could have the last bite.
What’s Hannibal Lecter’s motto?
“Eat, pray, love… people.”
Why don’t friends invite Hannibal Lecter to dinner?
Because he always brings leftovers—of them.
What did Hannibal Lecter say on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you with all my heart… and liver.”
Why does Hannibal Lecter hate junk food?
Because it has no soul.
What’s Hannibal Lecter’s favorite holiday?
Thanksgiving—plenty of body to go around.
Why did Hannibal Lecter get invited to every party?
Because he had killer taste.
