Looking for the funniest Survey Jokes to brighten your day? You’re in the right place! Whether you’ve taken a thousand surveys or avoided them like spam emails, these jokes capture the humor behind questions, checkboxes, and quirky responses. From workplace surveys to customer feedback forms,
Survey Jokes
I took a survey about laziness… but I didn’t finish it.
The survey asked my favorite position at work—so I wrote “horizontal.”
I got a survey asking how I found the experience. I said, “Accidentally.”
A survey asked if I’d recommend it to a friend—sure, but only the one I don’t like.
The survey asked if I multitask. I said yes while scrolling my phone.
I love surveys—where else can I complain and feel productive?
A survey asked my age group. I chose “mentally 12.”
The survey asked how often I lie. I clicked “never,” and even I laughed.
I got a survey asking if I get stressed. I broke out in sweat.
The survey asked my hobbies. I wrote “ignoring surveys.”
A survey asked how satisfied I was. I selected “hungry.”
Survey question: “What motivates you?” My answer: “The submit button.”
The survey asked if I follow directions. I skipped the question.
I took a survey on confidence. I guessed most of the answers.
A survey asked if I recycle. I recycled my old answers.
They sent me a survey about patience. I’ll answer it when I feel like it.
I love surveys—especially the one that ends with “Thank you, you’re done.”
A survey said it was anonymous, so I told it everything.
The survey asked for my long-term goals. I wrote “nap.”
The survey asked if I eat fruits. I clicked “banana” because there was no “yes.”
That moment when a survey asks if you read terms and conditions—you know you’re about to lie.
A survey asked how social I am. I skipped it and hid.
I filled out a survey at 2 AM. I’m sure it’ll be used for scientific confusion.
A survey asked if I exercise. My finger clicked yes—that counts.
I got a survey asking how spontaneous I am. I left it blank for the suspense.
Surveys always ask for feedback. I wish they asked for snacks.
A survey asked what I value most. I typed “Wi-Fi.”
The survey asked if I procrastinate. I’ll answer later.
A survey asked my level of expertise. I chose “expert guesser.”
The survey asked if I’m honest. I couldn’t decide whether to lie or not.
Land Survey Jokes
Land surveyors never lose arguments—they always have the better point.
I asked a land surveyor how his day was. He said, “It had its ups and downs… mostly slopes.”
Why do land surveyors make great friends? They never cross boundaries without permission.
A land surveyor’s favorite game? “Measure Twice, Cry Once.”
Land surveyors don’t get lost—they just take the scenic route to accuracy.
I told a land surveyor a joke. He said it needed better alignment.
A surveyor walked into a bar. The bartender said, “Why the long baseline?”
Why was the land surveyor calm? He knew everything had a proper angle.
Surveyors don’t argue—they just triangulate whose position is correct.
A land surveyor’s least favorite thing? People who assume.
My friend became a surveyor. Now he measures success in meters.
Surveyors love their jobs… they find it groundbreaking.
Why do surveyors make good partners? They always find common ground.
When surveyors retire, they finally get to relax on level terrain.
A land surveyor’s favorite music? Anything with good range.
Why did the surveyor break up? Too many mixed signals.
A surveyor’s motto: “If it’s not measured, it’s just a guess.”
Why are surveyors so polite? They respect everyone’s boundaries.
A land surveyor tried stand-up comedy—his timing was precise.
The surveyor’s maps were so accurate, they had no room for error.
Surveyors don’t make mistakes—they make revisions.
Why did the surveyor bring a ladder? To reach a higher elevation of humor.
Surveyors don’t exaggerate—they keep everything to scale.
I asked a surveyor for directions. He gave me coordinates.
Why did the surveyor go broke? He kept losing his bearings.
A land surveyor’s favorite snack? Straight lines of pretzels.
Surveyors love hiking—it’s just unpaid fieldwork to them.
Why are surveyors good detectives? They always measure the clues.
The surveyor didn’t tell jokes at work—they were too well-defined.
A surveyor’s favorite compliment? “Your work is truly ground-level genius.”
Employee Survey Jokes
Our employee survey asked what motivates us. I wrote “weekends.”
The employee survey asked how valued I feel. I clicked “depends on payday.”
“Be honest,” the survey said. So I closed it immediately.
The survey asked if I’m satisfied with my job. I typed, “Define satisfied.”
Employee survey question: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Me: “Not here, probably.”
The survey asked how often I work overtime. I clicked “accidentally.”
My boss said the employee survey is anonymous. I guess that’s why he wants our names first.
The survey asked how supported I feel. I wrote, “My chair does most of the work.”
Employee survey: “Do you feel heard?” Me: “What?”
They said feedback helps the company grow. I wrote, “Start with my salary.”
The survey asked if I trust management. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“How engaged are you?” the survey asked. I clicked the button reluctantly.
The employee survey asked my stress level. The bar broke.
Survey question: “Do you feel appreciated?” Me: “Tell that to my inbox.”
The survey asked how the company can improve. I wrote, “Shorter surveys.”
Employee survey: “Do you take breaks?” Me: “Only emotional ones.”
The survey asked how likely I am to recommend this workplace. I clicked “Only during interviews.”
They said the survey takes five minutes. My soul knew they were lying.
Survey question: “What do you need to do your job better?” Me: “A second me.”
The employee survey asked for my honest opinion. I refreshed the page to reset my answers.
The survey asked if I enjoy teamwork. I wrote, “Define enjoy.”
Employee survey: “How do you rate communication?” Me: “I’m still waiting for last week’s email.”
The survey asked what I’d change about my job. I wrote, “My job.”
They asked how productive I feel. I answered after a 20-minute break.
Employee survey: “Do you feel included?” Me: “Why wasn’t I included in making this survey?”
The survey asked how often I feel overwhelmed. I clicked “Yes.”
Employee survey: “What do you expect from leadership?” Me: “Leadership.”
The survey asked if I feel stressed. I accidentally filled it out in all caps.
Survey question: “What makes you happiest at work?” Me: “Leaving.”
They asked if the workplace environment is positive. I said it’s 50% coffee, 50% coping.
Surveyor Jokes One-Liners
Surveyors don’t argue—they just take better positions.
A surveyor’s favorite angle is the right one.
Surveyors always stay grounded… literally.
Lost? Never. Surveyors just explore professionally.
Surveyors draw lines—cross them at your own risk.
A surveyor’s day is never flat… unless it has to be.
Surveyors measure land, not patience.
Good surveyors don’t guess—they triangulate.
Surveyors don’t exaggerate—they scale everything perfectly.
Surveyors always know where they stand.
A surveyor’s jokes? Always well-aligned.
Surveyors don’t take shortcuts—they map them.
Accuracy isn’t a skill for surveyors—it’s a lifestyle.
Surveyors never lose direction—they lose signal.
When a surveyor is stressed, they take a level break.
Surveyors don’t drift—they shift coordinates.
A surveyor’s best pickup line: “Nice contour.”
Surveyors don’t get confused—they recalc.
Surveyors don’t spill secrets—they’re boundary experts.
A surveyor’s map never lies—unlike GPS sometimes.
Surveyors don’t wander—they conduct fieldwork.
A surveyor’s favorite drink? Anything straight.
Surveyors keep things in line—even their jokes.
In surveying, every point matters—even yours.
Surveyors don’t make mistakes—they remeasure.
A surveyor’s worst nightmare? A moving landmark.
Surveyors don’t daydream—they visualize topography.
A surveyor’s favorite compliment is “spot on.”
Surveyors don’t guess distances—they sense them.
Surveyors don’t chase success—they map the route.
Quantity Surveyor Jokes
Quantity surveyors don’t argue — they just cost you more to prove their point.
A quantity surveyor’s favorite hobby? Estimating how long their hobbies will take.
Quantity surveyors never panic — they already calculated the worst-case scenario.
A QS can fix anything… as long as it fits in the budget.
Quantity surveyors don’t exaggerate — inflation does that for them.
A QS’s favorite pickup line? “Hey, can I quantify your interest?”
Quantity surveyors don’t guess — they guesstimate professionally.
A QS’s idea of excitement? A spreadsheet with no errors.
Quantity surveyors count everything — even the jokes in this list.
A QS never overspends — they just “redistribute contingencies.”
Quantity surveyors love surprises — as long as they’re pre-approved variations.
A QS walks into a bar and immediately estimates the cost of renovations.
Quantity surveyors don’t do drama — they do cost breakdowns.
A QS can predict the future… through budget overruns.
Quantity surveyors don’t waste time — they allocate it.
A QS’s favorite workout? Lifting financial reports.
Quantity surveyors never get lost — they follow the project timeline.
A QS’s weekends are measured in hours billed or hours ignored.
Quantity surveyors don’t get headaches — they call them “cost pressures.”
A QS always knows when you’re lying — your numbers don’t add up.
Quantity surveyors love precision — even their jokes are to scale.
A QS never forgets anything — they have it all itemized.
Quantity surveyors don’t do chaos — they do structured spreadsheets.
A QS walks past a building site and instantly knows what went over budget.
Quantity surveyors don’t argue with architects — they just value them down.
A QS is basically a calculator with a personality upgrade.
Quantity surveyors don’t make mistakes — they make “cost adjustments.”
A QS can turn any conversation into a budget meeting.
Quantity surveyors don’t procrastinate — they reschedule efficiently.
A QS’s dream vacation? Somewhere with zero price fluctuations.
